Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Wanted, Eldritch Prophylactics

Progress continues!

The Cult of Urmgosh has been at it again. Or rather, there has been some aftermath. The couple that... participated... in the summoning ceremony is believed to be expecting.

Which is to say they are rather late indeed. This is something of an unfortunate development, as they would need to be put on extended leave or possibly dismissed. While we have hopes of providing childcare options in Deep Seven, there is no such setup in our present facilities.

At least we can be mostly certain their little one won't be the avatar of some eldritch weirdness.

Almost completely certain.

I'm still not sure what to make of all this, but if they are in fact expecting all I can really object to is that they did not take better precautions.

I really expected better of the Henchpeople in question, but for all I know this will work out for the best.

We'll deal with any vanishingly unlikely scenarios as they turn up.

Moving on, are YOU familiar with the embarrassment that was the movie WANTED?`

That trailer sells it rather well, which is how a lot of poor bastards got suckered into it. With respect to the efforts of Angelina Jolie it is not the most loved movie, rating lower than either of the movies mentioned in the last update- going by the audience rating, with 69% of the audience remembering it fondly.

The Tomatometer has it at a much more generous 72%, but then the Tomatometer is inevitably less reliable thanks to shills skewing the results as much as they are paid to.

If you can bear spoilers, the movie is really quite enjoyable up to a certain point at which the 'awesome' qualities are rapidly overcome by mountains of weight piled onto the suspension of disbelief as we learn, among other things, that the entire fraternity of Assassins is commanded by a textiles machine.

Only it commanded them to kill themselves, you see, and that's why the Master Assassin went rogue.

But here's a fun fact : the reason it's bad is because it's source material is even worse.

In the movie there were some redeeming qualities to the characters. Something to empathize with and respect in them.

Not so for the comic miniseries it was based on.

In Wanted, The Original Series. The Protagonist starts off the same way, a put-upon guy in a miserable job being abused by all he knows due to a lack of a spine.

This is because he was raised by his pacifist Mother after his Father took off you see.

But that all changes when Fox, in stark contrast to Jolie's character, murders the patrons of a sandwich shop to reveal that Mr. Wesley Gibson is in fact the son of a super-villain assassin and destined for greater things. Which is to say, to be a horrible bastard.

This, by the way, is not Fox in the comic.
THIS is. Another stark contrast to Angelina Jolie, really.

The world of Wanted, in this case, takes place in a world where Supervillains wholly united to not only defeat all Superheroes, but because they are jerks furthermore collectively erased Humanity's memories of Superheroes.

As a result so long as Supervillains refrain from revelling in being supervillains- maintaining some measure of secrecy, they are free to be as evil as they possibly can be without repercussion.

To shorten things up, Wesley Gibson ultimately takes to it like a duck to water, killing his Father and assuming his place as requested and I would like to stress again has if anything become even less sympathetic.

In fact, where Wanted the movie ends with this milkwater fourth-wall-breaking to taunt the audience:

Comic Book Wesley Gibson ends his tale on this note:

Did I mention he also metamorphosed into Slim Shady? So edgy. So edgy.
The director of the Wanted movie, Timur Bekmambetov,  had this to say about the movie.

"It’s a comedy, a tragedy, a drama, a melodrama. Every scene, we change genres and that’s why our movie is different.”

A lot of words when the phrase 'tone deaf' would have sufficed. Still he was being fair in noting it was 'different' not 'good'.

Surprisingly a sequel to Wanted is supposedly in the works but consigned to development hell.

Which, not being a fan, I rather feel is a good place for it.

As it is it would seem the likes of Dr. Doom are doing quite well in the Comic Book universe without moving to another in which their pedophile understudies fare better. That wasn't slander, by the way that is a plot point for one of the major characters.

I am quite sure Dr. Doom would destroy The Professor utterly.

There is poor taste and then there is Wanted. In any form.

And then there is this, which proves precious little is entirely irredeemable.

Progress continues.

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