Friday, August 28, 2015


Progress continues.

Well, no one wants to see the further adventures of Uranus Ucker- which is fine, it's fine. Not every idea can be a good one after all. I initially planned to go from one parody to another- Donald Trump's Candidacy....

Courtesy of Something Awful's DnD Goons.

...and I still might, but for the time being the fact he hasn't been laughed out of the running appalls me far too much to joke about it properly just yet. I can suggest a better alternative in the meantime.

2016 is Their Year

I've been thinking of taking up vaporizing lately. Or, as people insistent on using the minimum amount of syllables call it- vaping. I've written about it before, as some of you may recall. Vaporizers are without a doubt a superior method of nicotine delivery, but what dawned on me most recently is that they could be no small amount of fun without any nicotine whatsoever.

What bothers me now, when contemplating a habit involving flavored vapors, is the name.

They keep calling it vaping.

I refuse to vape.

What do you call someone who vapes? A Vapist?

"Hello, I am a Vapist, would you like to Vape? I can show you how! GET ON THE GROUND, NOW! PUT THE TIP OF THIS IN YOUR MOUTH AND SUCK!"

No, I think not.

And the habit is such a waste of potential- if you were to loudly discuss the parts of a vaporizer while assembling it it would sound far less like you were planning a trip to flavor country and far more like you were building a death ray to fry it with.

This will vape you.
Vape... it sounds somewhere between infantile and vaguely offensive.

Call them what they are, Vaporizers! If you smoke when you smoke, vapor when you vapor.

Not vape. End vape culture!

And now, in a farewell to Jupiter Ascending-

Nineteen minutes of wrong, which makes it one of the longest of these. I'm still not sure they got all of it.

Progress continues.

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