Friday, July 31, 2015

Aloha Eloha

Progress continues!

Things are looking up. Not entirely up, of course, and we started off looking at the ground- but I'd say things are looking directly toward the horizon now at least.

Unfortunately that's all #0 would let me say about that.

Meanwhile, have you ever felt that the theory of Evolution was... lacking? That, yes, it's very solid, but wouldn't it be much more plausible for all life on earth to have been crafted- not by an omnipotent creator- but by exiled Alien Geneticists who... I guess evolved on their own planet? Wait, I don't think you're supposed to think about that detail. Or at all, but rather simply rejoice!

Yes! Listen to the soothing smurf-voiced narrator as he regales you with the tale of how french Auto Journalist Claude Vorilhon was compelled to park and was greeted by, yes, Space Michael Jackson- who popped out of a WAY too small UFO to explain to Claude that there was no evolution!

No, THEY created all life and tailored every change that would become of them. They designed everything to have harmony, beauty and balance- including mating rituals.

Ducks, however, were crafted by the dangerously perverse Xorhvaal Unglhepper

But I'm getting ahead of myself. These Alien creators, in response to being confused for gods by older generations of Humanity apparently resolved to just roll with it and thus created every religion on earth. It should really come as no surprise that every revered religious figure was totally a Raelian Emissary- each one crafted by one of these so-called Scientists landing on earth to knock up a human woman in the classic fashion.

Correct me if I'm wrong, Scientists of the world, but something about that method of study seems deeply flawed.

Also if these Eloha were the Gods of the Greek and Roman Pantheons- our best strategy for welcoming them back is with an overwhelming nuclear strike.

Meanwhile Claude Vorilhon, the interviewer of Space Mike, has moved on to change his name to Rael 'the' Maitreya and has written a number of books sharing the message of the designers while advocating toplessness for women- though being fair, his logic for that one is the most solid of the lot.

And he does it all looking like this, in all sincerity. I don't advise exposing yourself to more than five minutes. In older videos he claims to be the half-brother of Jesus.

The video above, while mostly saying 'to be a Raelian is to be smart happy and sexy' also features TWO REVELATIONS ABOUT THE ELOHIM. It's reason for existing in fact.

The Elohim reached a certain technology level and then stopped researching, you see, because knowledge is infinite- why keep studying? They also don't explore the limitless universe because it is in fact limitless, so why bother. They're just content to be happy where they are. Aside from creating us and popping by now and again to give Claude Telepathic News Updates.

We're very close to the technology level they stopped at as well, don't you know.

Fascinating news to me, I thought we were centuries away from interstellar-flight-capable clown cars. Which, I might note, if Rael gets his way, may be landing soon at a Raelian Embassy! The moment someone gives them the money and space to build it.

Yes, soon our progenitors will reveal themselves at this Embassy, but only after it's built and in the meantime will communicate solely through an ahbsurdily french cuolt leahdar.

The Elohim apparently refuse to land their clown cars next to any buildings that don't look significantly sillier.

How this relates to our present woes is that Rael's cult are the only ones thus far interested in doing business with this Retekra Industries.

It's of 'religious' importance to them, you see. Raelians don't believe in an afterlife, they believe in immortality through cloning. Every adherent of their faith is 'baptised' in a manner which supposedly uploads a copy of their genetic template up to an Elohim supercomputer so as to ensure their avoidance of oblivion.

Despite more advanced (if stagnant) aliens having their back though, the Raelians purport to be Doing It For Themselves- having been running the, hah, dubiously legitimate Clonaid.

If you read the Clonaid page, it doesn't seem that dissimilar from my blog here, only it is in fact complete rubbish.

Unlike Arketer Labs.

Clonaid purports to have created a great many clones, but just the baby ones that take forever to grow and inevitably wind up being erratically-designed individuals rather than Bob 2.

Also they may or may not be cloning Michael Jackson!

"Commending Michael Jackson’s ‘pioneer vision of cloning,’
Clonaid reaffirms its privacy policy
LAS VEGAS, July 8 – After fielding numerous inquiries about the possible cloning of Michael Jackson, Dr. Brigitte Boisselier, head of Clonaid, today reaffirmed the company’s policy of strictly respecting the privacy of each of its patients.
Boisselier expressed admiration for Michael Jackson as an artist and also commended his courage in expressing support for human cloning at a time when it was getting much negative publicity in the press.
“Michael was a visionary who wasn’t afraid to embrace new technologies,” she said. “I’m glad his interest in cloning is being revealed now, since he was a pioneer in his views about it back in 2002 and his fans ought to know about it.”
“Clonaid prides itself on never releasing the identity of the numerous individuals who have been cloned in the past six years,” Boisselier said. “Even if that policy has been at the cost of my reputation, it’s important for us that the celebrities and other interested parties contacting us know they won’t be betrayed.”"

Slickly done bit of writing there trying to sneak-reveal that they supposedly had Mr. Jackson for a clie- patient!

 I wonder if they confused him for a lost Eloha. It would seem very easy to do.

Carefully designed Elohim art. a tortoise attempting to mate with a shoe. Did you know every male turtle harbors a shoggoth in their shell? That wacky Xorhvaal.

Not quite scientifically accurate, but more accurate than the original articles at least.

This crazy train has no rails to go off of, so someone can comment or e-mail me if they'd like to know more about this lot.

Progress continues!

No comments:

Post a Comment