Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Diversionary Tactic

Progress continues.

Writing Excercise Time!

Dipsy The Happy Mink

Dipsy the Happy Mink was the happiest Mink in all of Pibblyville, they loved everyone and everyone loved Dipsy. Dipsy played every day with their friends in the gently wafting wibblygroves and enjoyed long evenings trading jokes while nibbling on delicious Pibblefruit, from which Pibblyville had gotten their name.

Then one day, Dipsy got a Bumblr blog.

Dipsy would write about how much fun the Libblings were to be around, post pictures of their favorite snacks and a picture of their most treasured posession- a feather gifted them by their dear friend Tonks the Relatively Content Falcon.

Then they started getting angry comments about their feather. It was appropriative of Bird culture, they were told. They were bad for having it. Soon afterwards it seemed as if there was nothing they could post that wasn't somehow offensive to someone.

It made Dipsy very sad, but if so many people were offended maybe they were wrong. So they tried to understand and educated themselves. They learned exotic new pronouns and how playing games outside with their friends was very ableist. They learned how jokes were offensive and bad. They learned how they could fight the good fight against the bad people who Dipsy had been unaware surrounded them at all times.

Dipsy got on Dribblr at the suggestion of their new friends. They added their old friends on Dribbler, but found many of them were on their blockbot's blocklist.

"How could I have not noticed so many of my friends were crypto-Pibblygaters!" Dipsy exclaimed,
referencing the scandal in which someone slept with someone else and people who ate pibblyfruit objected- prompting the Pibblyville newspaper to write about how 'Pibblefruit Eaters are Over".

Dipsy loved Pibblefruit and still ate Pibblefruit regularly, but they weren't a Pibblyfruit Eater. The articles had made it clear Pibblyfruit Eaters were the worst people. Lower than Probey the Intrusive Octopus.

Many people who ate Pibblefruit were offended, but that was just because they were monstrous Pibblygaters said Dipsy's comrades on Bumblr and Dribbler.

Fortunately Dandy the Loving Bat's blockbot saved Dipsy from having to see these monsterous dribbles.

Dipsy was no longer a happy Mink. They were now Dipsy the Dribbler Warrior, no more did they play in the wibblygroves and no more did they trade jokes in the evenings with their friends- who had stopped hanging around them after the last several angry tirades about how the Libblings were full of ists and isms and how offensive everyone's jokes were.

Well, Dipsy didn't need them. They were all Ists too, clearly. Bumblr and Dribbler were all they needed now.

Eventually the world was saved from being moderately insensitive by Dipsy and their new friends being hateful towards people they were told were hateful. Out-Hating the Haters had worked, because it was now illegal to say it hadn't.

It was in fact illegal to say a great many ungood things, which Dipsy didn't entirely agree with- but since they didn't want to get fined or re-educated they didn't say that out loud.

The important thing was that the people they didn't like didn't get to say anything either.

And that's why Minks make the best fur coats.

Progress continues.

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