Friday, November 20, 2015

The Terrible Power of Jar Jar Binks

Progress continues.

Jar Jar Binks is powerful.

As in Multiply By Zero powerful.

He is the cinematic equivalent of a kazoo.

Indeed, much like there is not a song yet written that- when played on a kazoo- does not become a laughable mess I cannot imagine a single movie in which putting in Jar Jar would not make it absurdly terrible.

Just picture any memorable quote from a movie, and JarJar it to damnation. That link takes you right to a handy translator, if you have mercifully managed to forget how that horrible snail-eyed gecko-donkey spoke.

A few examples :

"Missa wish missa knew howa to quit yousa."

"All thesa moments ganna be nocomebackie in time… likein tearsies in rain!"

"Ever since missa ganna remember missa always wanna be a gangsta. To missa da was bedda than be da chancellor of da unit states. To be a gangsta was to own da biiig empire."

"Franklies missa dear, missa no giva damn!"

"Goes ahead, makes missa day."

Jar Jar truly does possess a dark power.

Progress continues.

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