Friday, October 14, 2016

New Science!

There is a call to restart Science!

Seemingly under the impression that since Isaac Newton was white and Science doggedly refuses to confirm shamans can use black magic to attack people with lightning (please watch the video for confirmation), there is a call to just... wipe the Science slate clean in the name of decolonization.

Unsurprisingly to most, but not the Chairwoman of the panel, this elicited considerable laughter- but I felt compelled to note that there could be benefits to the intrepidly lazy individual.

I employ a simple program to make youtube comments on my behalf and if the comments sound especially like something I would say I thumbs it up myself. Generally the amusing ones. This time the program truly nailed it.

If we're starting Science over, I call dibs on discovering the Speed of Light, E = MC Squared and Peanut Butter.

Other commentators called dibs on things like The Wheel, which prompted the program to demand Transistors and Moore's law- which would have been Arketer's Law henceforth.

I deleted that one as it's important not to get too greedy.

Indeed, if this took place we could supplant all of the greatest names in Science with our own! Think of the Scientific Glory!

We just have to, you know, not think about how that spits on the memory of all the great men and women of history of all ethnicities.

I will say that Thomas Edison probably deserves it though.

That poor elephant...

Anyhow these activists are a splinter of the Fallists, who advocate for free college- something I quite agree with. The smug establishment laughs at that as much as the people here laugh at the concept of starting Science over.

The difference, I would say, is that american colleges could be entirely funded with a tax on speculative trading and a gentle nip of the massively bloated military budget that misplaced... what was it... three trillion dollars? Six? Clearly they wouldn't miss that money when they can't even find it. It's all vastly more practical than restarting Science.

But if Science is restarted, I'm claiming those dibs and also the discovery of Electricity, which will henceforth be called Arketricity.

Normally I would end this with a chosen video of comical nature but I think it's already been covered.

I would like to recommend some obscure twits on Twitter for those interested in Danish culture however.

Thanks also to "My Buddy Craywin" for sharing the video above with me.

Progress continues!

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